In life we face many obstacles. Some come as easy things we can do. Others come with much strife and heartache. I know in my life the second scenario is most common. But where does it come from. The elite Christians would say it comes from the fall when Adam and Eve bit that apple. While that is very true and does contribute I think it comes from a longing for someone, something to fill that space in our hearts that screams for it. Let’s talk for a minute about this. We were created by a loving creator that wants us to acknowledge and be in love with him. He gives us options free will some may call it. This is strength in disguise because if we choose to take the easy way the first scenario is played, but if we take the hard road strife and heartache will come yet the end result will be glorious. I just had a birthday and it was great yet I was still longing for answers about my life. I am twenty – two I haven’t passed my freshman year in college. I have made friends yes yet it is coming to a time when they will all leave. I just broke up with my girlfriend while it was the right decision cause I am not ready for those types of commitment yet that isn’t there. The feeling of loneliness floods me every single day. My best friend is following here heart and boyfriend to where he is living. While I am happy for her it still hurts to see her go. There are others that are walking out of my life while they will keep in touch it won’t be the same as if they were here. I look to God for that comfort that only he provides yet its hard to keep putting your faith in the unseen. I am not saying I am losing faith just that it’s hard. For the first time in my life have felt like just leaving before being left. Not just the city, state, or country but the planet. Yes, I have thought of suicide. Then I remember I am a child of God and I can get through this because I know that He is carrying me. I can’t seem to talk to anyone about this because they all expect me to be this strong easy going guy. I don’t want to disappoint them. Sometimes I wonder if they even care to look and see that I just need a shoulder to lean on. Someone to just cry in front of and not ask questions or tell what the Bible says. While I need that it’s not always the best medicine. I’m tired of having to paint this mask on my face so everyone else will stop asking questions and to show that I am ok cause in reality I hate who I am. I don’t know if this obstacle will ever be gotten over. That is all I got so I’ll keep painting this face until I rescue myself from a broken heart, loneliness, and forgotteness.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Art of Relationships
We go through our lives trying to find, figure out, and fix relationships. Whether that be with parents, friends, relatives, or romances. Yet we still long for that perfect relationship with each person we meet. We forget that no relationship is always going to be perfect because believe it or not we are all human and we screw up from time to time. We even screw up the biggest relationship of all which is the one we should have with the one who not only created us, the earth, and the universe, but also died for us. We being a lost cause was found cause worthy by our creator that he would redeem us with a sacrifice like no other. His son for our sin. Anyway, we start off early in our lives on our relationship quest.
Yes, that's right from the moment we can communicate with anyone or anything we are trying for that perfect relationship. Our parents who are placed over us to guide us want to be our best friends yet also have the authority to punish us when we have a human moment. This we don't like so we rebel. And so the cycle goes. Yet at some point early on we want to do everything we can to please them. To make them proud of us and to give us what we want and long for which is unconditional love. Little do we know that that's exactly what they are giving us when they punish us. Yet, we move on and begin to grow.
School starts time to be thrown into the pool of friends that will help us, stab us in the back, then help us on down the road. We try to fit in we create cliques that shun people that aren't like us that don't meet our standards. The friends we do have we want them to be proud of us and to once again be unconditional lovers of us. We get along great until all the issues that we should have been talking about all along blow up in our faces. True friends work it out, acquaintances throw you to the curb then splash mud in your face when they peel off. Yet, during this time we find one relationship that we all want which is an intimate one with the opposite sex.
We enter the dating game. First off which is now a days coined the honeymoon period both are extremely happy. They let the little things slide cause they are just so caught up in each other. However, that period is never lasting. Finally, all the things that weren't said come out feelings get hurt and both are unhappy. To the ones that were only in it for the honeymoon period the split is harsh and leaves deep scars on both. To those who know that they want things to continue work through it and compromise so that they will once again find happiness in the relationship. All along the way we have one relationship that if accepted last forever. It is the ultimate couples relationship. It was there before time began and will be there when time ends. God and man.
Recently, I have been dealing with the third situation. My girlfriend and I have been in the honeymoon period. Now we are being plunged into the next period which quite frankly isn't fun for either of us. However, this is the challenge we face. On my half I know that I haven't handled it in the best possible way. I have screwed up time and time again while trying to make the transition. Even though being hurt isn't always a bad thing I think what I have done has not been for the better but for the worst. Even more recently I sat down with my best friend and we had a long discussion on how to make it work and how I can be better at my half of the argument. I gleaned a lot from this discussion. Now I am willing to take that next step and ask for forgiveness for my own foolishness. My relationship with God has suffered because of my stubbornness as well.
Thank you for listening I don't have any advice to show how to make it through these situations because I haven't been through them all myself yet. However, I will tell you put you heart in the hands of God and trust only in Him and you can make it through anything.
Yes, that's right from the moment we can communicate with anyone or anything we are trying for that perfect relationship. Our parents who are placed over us to guide us want to be our best friends yet also have the authority to punish us when we have a human moment. This we don't like so we rebel. And so the cycle goes. Yet at some point early on we want to do everything we can to please them. To make them proud of us and to give us what we want and long for which is unconditional love. Little do we know that that's exactly what they are giving us when they punish us. Yet, we move on and begin to grow.
School starts time to be thrown into the pool of friends that will help us, stab us in the back, then help us on down the road. We try to fit in we create cliques that shun people that aren't like us that don't meet our standards. The friends we do have we want them to be proud of us and to once again be unconditional lovers of us. We get along great until all the issues that we should have been talking about all along blow up in our faces. True friends work it out, acquaintances throw you to the curb then splash mud in your face when they peel off. Yet, during this time we find one relationship that we all want which is an intimate one with the opposite sex.
We enter the dating game. First off which is now a days coined the honeymoon period both are extremely happy. They let the little things slide cause they are just so caught up in each other. However, that period is never lasting. Finally, all the things that weren't said come out feelings get hurt and both are unhappy. To the ones that were only in it for the honeymoon period the split is harsh and leaves deep scars on both. To those who know that they want things to continue work through it and compromise so that they will once again find happiness in the relationship. All along the way we have one relationship that if accepted last forever. It is the ultimate couples relationship. It was there before time began and will be there when time ends. God and man.
Recently, I have been dealing with the third situation. My girlfriend and I have been in the honeymoon period. Now we are being plunged into the next period which quite frankly isn't fun for either of us. However, this is the challenge we face. On my half I know that I haven't handled it in the best possible way. I have screwed up time and time again while trying to make the transition. Even though being hurt isn't always a bad thing I think what I have done has not been for the better but for the worst. Even more recently I sat down with my best friend and we had a long discussion on how to make it work and how I can be better at my half of the argument. I gleaned a lot from this discussion. Now I am willing to take that next step and ask for forgiveness for my own foolishness. My relationship with God has suffered because of my stubbornness as well.
Thank you for listening I don't have any advice to show how to make it through these situations because I haven't been through them all myself yet. However, I will tell you put you heart in the hands of God and trust only in Him and you can make it through anything.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Update: My Life is a rollercoaster.
Hello, everyone. It has been a while since my last post. Here is an update on my life recently. A couple of months ago I began this journey within myself. I took a look at my life and found that I didn't love who I was in Christ. I found that I loved the fact that Christ loved me but didn't let that fill my heart with joy for me to give to others around me. So I began searching for God within myself. I am happy to say that I have begun to find Him in a lot of the areas of my life. I am recognizing the blessings He has provided me and so much more.
Good Friday I attended one of the most amazing events that I have ever attended. The event was Secret Church. It focused on the crucifixion, salvation, and glory of God. It set my heart on fire to search for God even more. Since then I have been seeing God in the decisions I make, the places I go, and the people I meet. That weekend was filled with this realization. It was also the beginning of my realization that God wants me to know that Christ crucifixion is for everyone who believes. If the resurrection never happened and Christ was never raised from the dead then my searching for Him is futile. My witness is vain and my faith is worthless. But the great and amazing and awesome thing is that it happened three days from the time of the crucifixion Christ rose as the first fruits from the dead.
This past weekend i again traveled home. I am going to Italy in July and had to work on some things in preparation for it. I arrived a day to early, but that was all in God's plan. I had to run an errand with my mom on Saturday morning. The woman that we were delivering cupcakes to worked with international students. She had an amazing testimony on why her passion for international students had grown. It really opened my eyes to the gifts I have been given though they may seem insignificant God can use them in His time to bring about a lot of people to Him. But God wasn't finished with me Saturday. Throughout the day i helped several people with different tasks that they needed done. He showed me how to serve Him through His people even when they might not be part of his flock yet. I have really enjoyed learning about how my life is all part of God's plan and that I have a purpose on this earth and it is to trust Him and worship Him.
Sunday I went to sunday school with my dad. They have started studying the book of Job. I spent about a month and a half reading it. However that is all I was doing. While studying the first chapter something stood out to me that I missed when I read it alone. After everything was taken from Job he ripped his clothes, shaved his head, and cursed God, cried woe is me. No, he knelt and worshiped God. He said, "The Lord giveth and He can taketh away. Praise be to God." I want that to be my prayer when storms arise and I feel like everything is taken away from me.
Thank you for letting me share. I love all of you and pray that the Lord will bless your days.
Good Friday I attended one of the most amazing events that I have ever attended. The event was Secret Church. It focused on the crucifixion, salvation, and glory of God. It set my heart on fire to search for God even more. Since then I have been seeing God in the decisions I make, the places I go, and the people I meet. That weekend was filled with this realization. It was also the beginning of my realization that God wants me to know that Christ crucifixion is for everyone who believes. If the resurrection never happened and Christ was never raised from the dead then my searching for Him is futile. My witness is vain and my faith is worthless. But the great and amazing and awesome thing is that it happened three days from the time of the crucifixion Christ rose as the first fruits from the dead.
This past weekend i again traveled home. I am going to Italy in July and had to work on some things in preparation for it. I arrived a day to early, but that was all in God's plan. I had to run an errand with my mom on Saturday morning. The woman that we were delivering cupcakes to worked with international students. She had an amazing testimony on why her passion for international students had grown. It really opened my eyes to the gifts I have been given though they may seem insignificant God can use them in His time to bring about a lot of people to Him. But God wasn't finished with me Saturday. Throughout the day i helped several people with different tasks that they needed done. He showed me how to serve Him through His people even when they might not be part of his flock yet. I have really enjoyed learning about how my life is all part of God's plan and that I have a purpose on this earth and it is to trust Him and worship Him.
Sunday I went to sunday school with my dad. They have started studying the book of Job. I spent about a month and a half reading it. However that is all I was doing. While studying the first chapter something stood out to me that I missed when I read it alone. After everything was taken from Job he ripped his clothes, shaved his head, and cursed God, cried woe is me. No, he knelt and worshiped God. He said, "The Lord giveth and He can taketh away. Praise be to God." I want that to be my prayer when storms arise and I feel like everything is taken away from me.
Thank you for letting me share. I love all of you and pray that the Lord will bless your days.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Time, Pancakes, and Laminin
So just recently I watched a pretty amazing movie. It was called 127 Hours. It is the true story of the guy that cut off part of his own arm to survive. The movie was rated R for good reason though. It really made me think if what I am doing right now is what I should be doing. God has a great plan for my life and I am learning to walk where he leads and wait on Him to tell me when to move next.
This morning was high attendance Sunday at church. They provided breakfast for all of those that were willing to come early before Sunday School. It was pancakes. It really got me to thinking though. Should churches have to provide a service like breakfast to its members because they want people to come. As the Church of Christ shouldn't we want to fellowship with each other. Shouldn't we want that community, corporate worship together. I think so. We should want every Sunday's attendance to be higher than the last. However, I had a friend who not to long ago gave his life to God completely and wanted to go through with believers baptism. That is one thing that the Church should also want to do in respect for God. My deal with it is Christ did it why shouldn't I want to do it.
In Sunday school we talked about finding the truths about God and knowing them. We were looking in the book of Colossians. In the first twenty verses it talks about how Jesus is the first of everything. How he created everything and everything was created for Him. It also talks about how He holds everything together. That reminded me of Louie Giglio a pastor and awesome guy. Who discovered what Laminin the cell that holds all other cells together looked like. It looks like a cross with someone hanging on it. Kinda reminds you of something right? Well since then I have thought about my life and how I know that Laminin is inside of me and that really means that Christ lives in me because I have accepted his gift of grace. Yet, I take advantage of it.
These are just some of my thoughts for today.
This morning was high attendance Sunday at church. They provided breakfast for all of those that were willing to come early before Sunday School. It was pancakes. It really got me to thinking though. Should churches have to provide a service like breakfast to its members because they want people to come. As the Church of Christ shouldn't we want to fellowship with each other. Shouldn't we want that community, corporate worship together. I think so. We should want every Sunday's attendance to be higher than the last. However, I had a friend who not to long ago gave his life to God completely and wanted to go through with believers baptism. That is one thing that the Church should also want to do in respect for God. My deal with it is Christ did it why shouldn't I want to do it.
In Sunday school we talked about finding the truths about God and knowing them. We were looking in the book of Colossians. In the first twenty verses it talks about how Jesus is the first of everything. How he created everything and everything was created for Him. It also talks about how He holds everything together. That reminded me of Louie Giglio a pastor and awesome guy. Who discovered what Laminin the cell that holds all other cells together looked like. It looks like a cross with someone hanging on it. Kinda reminds you of something right? Well since then I have thought about my life and how I know that Laminin is inside of me and that really means that Christ lives in me because I have accepted his gift of grace. Yet, I take advantage of it.
These are just some of my thoughts for today.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Why Am I Here?
It has been a couple of days and I have been reflecting on some of the struggles in my life as of late. Honestly, I am have become grateful for them cause without them I wouldn't know if I was following what God has for my life.
Tonight I attended a concert in town. The band was Gungor. I knew that they played some praise and worship. I was surprised that they were actually more like a soft rock band than a praise and worship band. It was absolutely amazing. There have been only a few times in my life where I have felt the Spirit of God moving through a congregation. Tonight was one of those times. Feeling the Spirit move was awe inspiring. I can't even begin to describe what I felt. Afterward I attend the college and career Bible study that is held at Taylor Road Baptist Church. The book as I have mentioned before really hit home some more things that I have in my life that are keeping me from my full and true potential in fulfilling God's plan for my life.
Ok now that I have told you that I want to jump back to Monday night at Resonate. Lee the usual speaker was not there because of a recent surgery. That meant that our favorite guest speaker was speaking. He talked about Esther. How we as people more importantly as Christians are more concerned about why we are here than with since we are here what does God want us to do. See we were placed on this earth at this time to the parents we have, in the place where we are for a greater picture or purpose. As we live our Christian lives we have that purpose revealed to us. Sometimes just a little of it others time a lot of it. In those times when we have a lot we complain and belly ache. People will tell us don't worry God will not put more on you than you can handle. Which in all actuality is a load of crock. God puts things on us more than we can handle because we aren't supposed to handle it God is through us. Anyway, Jim really put into perspective some of the reasons why I am here.
I am grateful for all of these things and friends to share it with.
I hope that all of you readers out there know that I love you and that God loves you. I also hope that you know your purpose is greater than even you could imagine. So, go with God He will never steer you wrong.
Tonight I attended a concert in town. The band was Gungor. I knew that they played some praise and worship. I was surprised that they were actually more like a soft rock band than a praise and worship band. It was absolutely amazing. There have been only a few times in my life where I have felt the Spirit of God moving through a congregation. Tonight was one of those times. Feeling the Spirit move was awe inspiring. I can't even begin to describe what I felt. Afterward I attend the college and career Bible study that is held at Taylor Road Baptist Church. The book as I have mentioned before really hit home some more things that I have in my life that are keeping me from my full and true potential in fulfilling God's plan for my life.
Ok now that I have told you that I want to jump back to Monday night at Resonate. Lee the usual speaker was not there because of a recent surgery. That meant that our favorite guest speaker was speaking. He talked about Esther. How we as people more importantly as Christians are more concerned about why we are here than with since we are here what does God want us to do. See we were placed on this earth at this time to the parents we have, in the place where we are for a greater picture or purpose. As we live our Christian lives we have that purpose revealed to us. Sometimes just a little of it others time a lot of it. In those times when we have a lot we complain and belly ache. People will tell us don't worry God will not put more on you than you can handle. Which in all actuality is a load of crock. God puts things on us more than we can handle because we aren't supposed to handle it God is through us. Anyway, Jim really put into perspective some of the reasons why I am here.
I am grateful for all of these things and friends to share it with.
I hope that all of you readers out there know that I love you and that God loves you. I also hope that you know your purpose is greater than even you could imagine. So, go with God He will never steer you wrong.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Storm Delay
Dear friends. I know it has been a week since my last post. I am deeply sorry. A lot has been going on in my life lately. However, everyday i have kept with the challenge and looked for something to be thankful for. It is getting easier to see in what ways God has blessed me. It actually quite amazing to see how much I have missed the blessings that God has bestowed on me.
One of the first things I noticed was my parents. God gave them to me. He placed me in their care. He was the one that had me to be born at the certain time and certain place in their lives. This past week my parents came up to take me out to lunch for my birthday that was last week. I didn't expect them to also buy me tons of food to keep me sustained for the week. I have some of the best parents in the world. They both seek after God in all areas of their life. They build me up when I am down and I know I can talk to them about any problem that I am going through.
The second thing is a home. Yes, I live in Montgomery and I have made it my home, but the one place that I will always call home on this side of heaven is right there in Troy, Alabama with my parents and sister. My dad pointed out in an earlier post that I had said something about not being appreciative of that home. I am correcting that statement and showing that I am truly grateful for it. There is no place like a home that you can take refuge in when storms come and you need protection. In our lives that home is heaven and the father and helper is God.
The third and final thing for this post is times to corporately worship. This past Monday night was Resonate at the BCM. The campus minster is teaching through Colossians. However, we have only gotten to verse 23 in chapter one. But one statement stood out to me. No matter how hard the storms that we face Jesus faced them as well, maybe not in the same way but definitely the same situations. He is there waiting for you to push into His embrace. We need Him more than we think, yet we refuse to turn to Him until we believe our lives to be worthless and we give up the fight. I was reassured of these facts Wednesday night when I attended the college Bible study at Taylor Road Baptist Church. The book that we have now begun stated all of the questions and problems I have been struggling with these past few months. I look forward to discovering how this author will instruct me to handle these storms that I currently face.
God is good and I relish the times I am in His presence. I have realized that throughout my life there has never been a time where I haven't struggled and God has been there to pick me up and carry me until I am able to run again.
I love you all and hope that you will get much out of my words. I am praying for all of you.
One of the first things I noticed was my parents. God gave them to me. He placed me in their care. He was the one that had me to be born at the certain time and certain place in their lives. This past week my parents came up to take me out to lunch for my birthday that was last week. I didn't expect them to also buy me tons of food to keep me sustained for the week. I have some of the best parents in the world. They both seek after God in all areas of their life. They build me up when I am down and I know I can talk to them about any problem that I am going through.
The second thing is a home. Yes, I live in Montgomery and I have made it my home, but the one place that I will always call home on this side of heaven is right there in Troy, Alabama with my parents and sister. My dad pointed out in an earlier post that I had said something about not being appreciative of that home. I am correcting that statement and showing that I am truly grateful for it. There is no place like a home that you can take refuge in when storms come and you need protection. In our lives that home is heaven and the father and helper is God.
The third and final thing for this post is times to corporately worship. This past Monday night was Resonate at the BCM. The campus minster is teaching through Colossians. However, we have only gotten to verse 23 in chapter one. But one statement stood out to me. No matter how hard the storms that we face Jesus faced them as well, maybe not in the same way but definitely the same situations. He is there waiting for you to push into His embrace. We need Him more than we think, yet we refuse to turn to Him until we believe our lives to be worthless and we give up the fight. I was reassured of these facts Wednesday night when I attended the college Bible study at Taylor Road Baptist Church. The book that we have now begun stated all of the questions and problems I have been struggling with these past few months. I look forward to discovering how this author will instruct me to handle these storms that I currently face.
God is good and I relish the times I am in His presence. I have realized that throughout my life there has never been a time where I haven't struggled and God has been there to pick me up and carry me until I am able to run again.
I love you all and hope that you will get much out of my words. I am praying for all of you.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Missed yesterday fixing problem now
Sorry guys, I missed posting yesterday. I just was filled with a lot of good things. First I was treated to lunch by my roommates dad. Then, I had work, which was a blast. So yesterday I guys I was thankful for life. Yeah I know I already posted about life but that was different. This one is about all the fun you can have and lose track of time.
This isn't long but it is what I was grateful for.
This isn't long but it is what I was grateful for.
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