In life we face many obstacles. Some come as easy things we can do. Others come with much strife and heartache. I know in my life the second scenario is most common. But where does it come from. The elite Christians would say it comes from the fall when Adam and Eve bit that apple. While that is very true and does contribute I think it comes from a longing for someone, something to fill that space in our hearts that screams for it. Let’s talk for a minute about this. We were created by a loving creator that wants us to acknowledge and be in love with him. He gives us options free will some may call it. This is strength in disguise because if we choose to take the easy way the first scenario is played, but if we take the hard road strife and heartache will come yet the end result will be glorious. I just had a birthday and it was great yet I was still longing for answers about my life. I am twenty – two I haven’t passed my freshman year in college. I have made friends yes yet it is coming to a time when they will all leave. I just broke up with my girlfriend while it was the right decision cause I am not ready for those types of commitment yet that isn’t there. The feeling of loneliness floods me every single day. My best friend is following here heart and boyfriend to where he is living. While I am happy for her it still hurts to see her go. There are others that are walking out of my life while they will keep in touch it won’t be the same as if they were here. I look to God for that comfort that only he provides yet its hard to keep putting your faith in the unseen. I am not saying I am losing faith just that it’s hard. For the first time in my life have felt like just leaving before being left. Not just the city, state, or country but the planet. Yes, I have thought of suicide. Then I remember I am a child of God and I can get through this because I know that He is carrying me. I can’t seem to talk to anyone about this because they all expect me to be this strong easy going guy. I don’t want to disappoint them. Sometimes I wonder if they even care to look and see that I just need a shoulder to lean on. Someone to just cry in front of and not ask questions or tell what the Bible says. While I need that it’s not always the best medicine. I’m tired of having to paint this mask on my face so everyone else will stop asking questions and to show that I am ok cause in reality I hate who I am. I don’t know if this obstacle will ever be gotten over. That is all I got so I’ll keep painting this face until I rescue myself from a broken heart, loneliness, and forgotteness.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Art of Relationships
We go through our lives trying to find, figure out, and fix relationships. Whether that be with parents, friends, relatives, or romances. Yet we still long for that perfect relationship with each person we meet. We forget that no relationship is always going to be perfect because believe it or not we are all human and we screw up from time to time. We even screw up the biggest relationship of all which is the one we should have with the one who not only created us, the earth, and the universe, but also died for us. We being a lost cause was found cause worthy by our creator that he would redeem us with a sacrifice like no other. His son for our sin. Anyway, we start off early in our lives on our relationship quest.
Yes, that's right from the moment we can communicate with anyone or anything we are trying for that perfect relationship. Our parents who are placed over us to guide us want to be our best friends yet also have the authority to punish us when we have a human moment. This we don't like so we rebel. And so the cycle goes. Yet at some point early on we want to do everything we can to please them. To make them proud of us and to give us what we want and long for which is unconditional love. Little do we know that that's exactly what they are giving us when they punish us. Yet, we move on and begin to grow.
School starts time to be thrown into the pool of friends that will help us, stab us in the back, then help us on down the road. We try to fit in we create cliques that shun people that aren't like us that don't meet our standards. The friends we do have we want them to be proud of us and to once again be unconditional lovers of us. We get along great until all the issues that we should have been talking about all along blow up in our faces. True friends work it out, acquaintances throw you to the curb then splash mud in your face when they peel off. Yet, during this time we find one relationship that we all want which is an intimate one with the opposite sex.
We enter the dating game. First off which is now a days coined the honeymoon period both are extremely happy. They let the little things slide cause they are just so caught up in each other. However, that period is never lasting. Finally, all the things that weren't said come out feelings get hurt and both are unhappy. To the ones that were only in it for the honeymoon period the split is harsh and leaves deep scars on both. To those who know that they want things to continue work through it and compromise so that they will once again find happiness in the relationship. All along the way we have one relationship that if accepted last forever. It is the ultimate couples relationship. It was there before time began and will be there when time ends. God and man.
Recently, I have been dealing with the third situation. My girlfriend and I have been in the honeymoon period. Now we are being plunged into the next period which quite frankly isn't fun for either of us. However, this is the challenge we face. On my half I know that I haven't handled it in the best possible way. I have screwed up time and time again while trying to make the transition. Even though being hurt isn't always a bad thing I think what I have done has not been for the better but for the worst. Even more recently I sat down with my best friend and we had a long discussion on how to make it work and how I can be better at my half of the argument. I gleaned a lot from this discussion. Now I am willing to take that next step and ask for forgiveness for my own foolishness. My relationship with God has suffered because of my stubbornness as well.
Thank you for listening I don't have any advice to show how to make it through these situations because I haven't been through them all myself yet. However, I will tell you put you heart in the hands of God and trust only in Him and you can make it through anything.
Yes, that's right from the moment we can communicate with anyone or anything we are trying for that perfect relationship. Our parents who are placed over us to guide us want to be our best friends yet also have the authority to punish us when we have a human moment. This we don't like so we rebel. And so the cycle goes. Yet at some point early on we want to do everything we can to please them. To make them proud of us and to give us what we want and long for which is unconditional love. Little do we know that that's exactly what they are giving us when they punish us. Yet, we move on and begin to grow.
School starts time to be thrown into the pool of friends that will help us, stab us in the back, then help us on down the road. We try to fit in we create cliques that shun people that aren't like us that don't meet our standards. The friends we do have we want them to be proud of us and to once again be unconditional lovers of us. We get along great until all the issues that we should have been talking about all along blow up in our faces. True friends work it out, acquaintances throw you to the curb then splash mud in your face when they peel off. Yet, during this time we find one relationship that we all want which is an intimate one with the opposite sex.
We enter the dating game. First off which is now a days coined the honeymoon period both are extremely happy. They let the little things slide cause they are just so caught up in each other. However, that period is never lasting. Finally, all the things that weren't said come out feelings get hurt and both are unhappy. To the ones that were only in it for the honeymoon period the split is harsh and leaves deep scars on both. To those who know that they want things to continue work through it and compromise so that they will once again find happiness in the relationship. All along the way we have one relationship that if accepted last forever. It is the ultimate couples relationship. It was there before time began and will be there when time ends. God and man.
Recently, I have been dealing with the third situation. My girlfriend and I have been in the honeymoon period. Now we are being plunged into the next period which quite frankly isn't fun for either of us. However, this is the challenge we face. On my half I know that I haven't handled it in the best possible way. I have screwed up time and time again while trying to make the transition. Even though being hurt isn't always a bad thing I think what I have done has not been for the better but for the worst. Even more recently I sat down with my best friend and we had a long discussion on how to make it work and how I can be better at my half of the argument. I gleaned a lot from this discussion. Now I am willing to take that next step and ask for forgiveness for my own foolishness. My relationship with God has suffered because of my stubbornness as well.
Thank you for listening I don't have any advice to show how to make it through these situations because I haven't been through them all myself yet. However, I will tell you put you heart in the hands of God and trust only in Him and you can make it through anything.
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